Food Review: Nuxy Graham Ice Cream Sandwiches

Unfortunately, the only time I really ever desire to write a food review is when I eat something that I think is terrible. This makes me out to sound mean, or snotty, like I need to get off my high horse or maybe I come off like I don't like other companies food. In reality it's that I love food so much, when I eat something that bad, I get mad. Who made this and thought, "yes! we should sell this!" and who tasted it and thought, "yes, I would love to sell this in my store!" Clearly people are buying it, but how many people are repeat customers?
Who am I talking about specifically?
The culprit: Nuxy Graham Ice Cream Sandwiches.
I have seem them around town at different natural food stores but never bought one (despite the pretty cute packaging) because the price didn't seem worth it for the size. $3.69 got me an ice cream sandwich about 2 1/2 inches in diameter. I bought the chocolate flavor, obviously. Chocolate ice cream sandwiched in between 2 graham cookies. Here is my opinion (whether you like it or not!), and it can be summed up in one word (and then explained further in many more).
Pointless.
The packaging gloats of a healthy, vegan ice cream sandwich made of cashews, agave, dates and maple syrup. What they failed to mention is that I personally would rather eat nothing, then eat an ice cream sandwich with this little flavor.
There was absolutely no discernible chocolate flavor. Blind-folded or not, you would never be able to tell. In fact, despite the picture in the advertising, it is barely even brown, one might call it off-white or slightly gray. The cashew-based ice cream was slightly gritty and not nearly sweet enough. The only redeeming quality was the softness of the graham cookies, which were nothing flavor-wise to write home about.
I appreciate when someone tries to make a traditionally fatty treat healthy, but this is just nonsense. No flavor, not enough sweetness, wrong texture and certainly not worth the 250 calories for such a tiny treat.
The website claims "shh! don't tell (it's vegan!)" This is possibly the most laughable part of the whole situation. HA! There is certainly no passing this for any kind of "normal" ice cream treat. I would not give this to a non-vegan that I was hoping to win over. This would surely send them running for the haagen-dazs.
If you want to eat an ice cream sandwich, just buy or make your favorite cookies then buy or make (quite easily I might add!) your favorite ice cream flavor and slap them together. Sure they might not be made of dates and cashews and ingredients superior for your health, BUT IT'S AN ICE CREAM SANDWICH! Have one and then go run a few miles. It will be well worth it in the end.